I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Randomize
