i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
We named our party play list daddy issues
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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