Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
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