I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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