i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Randomize
