You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
