I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Randomize
