Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
