this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
