Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
