The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
