Christians are straight up FREAKS
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
