i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
