Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
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