Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
