Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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