Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
