Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
