okay pat passed out under dana's car
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Randomize
