put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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