I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
