after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
