Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
