Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Randomize
