You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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