airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
