I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
