Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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