I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
