I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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