I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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