So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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