Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
Randomize
