once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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