I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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