And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
