Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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