so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
grandma shit on top of the toilet
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize