You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
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