i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Randomize
