Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
