my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
