Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize