Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
