he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
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