think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
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we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize