She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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