i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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