I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
