you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
