Whod you bang
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
Randomize
