I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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