marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
