I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
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