D3 body, D1 cock
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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