Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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