absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
