So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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