Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
