no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize